Invisible Grief

I’ve been [very] single for 25 years. Mostly it’s been a great time and I’ve written about the joys of single life in earlier posts. I will keep on saying that singleness is a good calling worth celebrating more, and when I say that I will mean it from my heart as I experientially delight in the richness and freedom of single life. But alongside all of that, I want to also talk about the hard stuff. I want to name the grief we experience in singleness, the kind of loss that might be so subtle that even we ourselves don’t see it as actual loss.

Book Review: A War of Loves

“To survive, you must tell stories.” - Umberto Eco. I love reading. Books have been a safe haven where I can explore bold stories from the comfort of my bedroom. Long before I felt safe enough to start speaking openly about my sexuality with people, I was devouring books that introduced me to stories of other people like me.

Re-writing the Script Together

In my last post I talked about the idea of cultural scripts that tell us how to live and behave: what to aspire to. Cultural scripts embody the virtues a community values most highly. But what do we do when our community doesn’t value things that ought to be valued? What do we do when the cultural script we are handed is inadequate in guiding us to a life of flourishing? I think our culture needs to re-write those scripts.

Inventing a Dream

“There is the ache of a dream not fulfilled. But what about the ache of a dream never dreamt? A life without hope or aspiration.” Tonight a friend shared those words with me. We were reflecting on the hopes and dreams we had for ourselves when as teenagers we came to an awareness of our sexuality. What does a young Christian teen dream for themselves when they realise they’re gay? What sort of life can we aspire to?