Most of my readers are probably aware that I'm a passionate bassoon player. Anyone who knows me in real life knows that I’ve devoted a significant portion of my lifetime to pursuing a professional career in playing the bassoon. You could even say it’s one of the most distinctive things about me. It’s not unusual for me to run in to someone I haven’t seen for years (you know, the kind of person you met that one time at a conference and have long since erased from your memory) and while we’re standing there trying to recall each other’s names, the other person confidently blurts out: “All I remember about you is you’re the guy who plays the bassoon!”
“To survive, you must tell stories.” - Umberto Eco. I love reading. Books have been a safe haven where I can explore bold stories from the comfort of my bedroom. Long before I felt safe enough to start speaking openly about my sexuality with people, I was devouring books that introduced me to stories of other people like me.
In my last post I talked about the idea of cultural scripts that tell us how to live and behave: what to aspire to. Cultural scripts embody the virtues a community values most highly. But what do we do when our community doesn’t value things that ought to be valued? What do we do when the cultural script we are handed is inadequate in guiding us to a life of flourishing? I think our culture needs to re-write those scripts.
To continue exploring the idea of dual citizenship, I thought I’d share some stories of my experience during the same-sex marriage postal vote in 2017. This is not a feel-good post as it contains some heavy-hearted stories taken from my journal as I struggled to cope during this time.
How being a celibate, gay Christian can feel like dual citizenship. Translation exhaustion, code-switching, and the search for solidarity coupled with the joys of hearing and telling beautiful stories from another culture.
Or Am I Repressing Who I Truly Am? A few months ago, back when it was still normal to have parties and meet people in real life, I found myself at a party chatting with a few other gay folk from very different walks of life. It’s always fascinating meeting other gay people with different … Continue reading Be Who You Are
I originally wrote this about a year ago in response to a message I received from a colleague asking "How do you do the abstinence?" I'm posting that response here hoping that it might address any similar questions you might have about singleness, celibacy, and my personal religious convictions.
And why that is a stupid title for what I'm writing about. There's a better way of framing this debate about word choices, and here's one way we can do that.
For about three years, I've been writing imaginary blog posts for myself. It started out as a form of journalling--trying to process my thoughts and feelings by writing them down.